Zombies for real
by poisonouswaffle'n-stuffs
Summary: Could it be that for Starscream spending time with Megatron its far better than spending time with his family?


**This is just a crack fic I wrote and hopefully I will write more crack because I am in the mood for crack, so if you don't like it please don't let me know but If you liked it….**

**READ AND REVIEW!**

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**ZOMBIES FOR REAL!**

Megatron and Soundwave were sitting on the Decepticons living room reading some important data pads but a screeching thrust interrupted their peace.

"My Lord! An Autobot intruder!"

"What! And why do you come tell, just destroy it!"

On that moment Red Alert gets inside the living room running, his scape attempt clearly ruined.

"There it is!" pointed Thrust to the Autobot.

"It's just Red Alert let him be" answered apathetically the Decepticon leader going back to reading.

"What! But... but the Autobot!" whined Thrust

"Just go Thrust!" yelled the Decepticon leader

Thrust just left mumbling a 'whatever' and pouting like a spoiled child.

"Weren't you supposed to kill the Autobot spy?" asked Red Alert confused

"Weren't you supposed to be a spy?" answered Megatron

"Weren't you supposed to kill Autobots?"

"Would you shut up? I'm busy! Just go there and do something that is worth my time killing you"

Red Alert was getting pissed "I didn't know you were so annoying!"

"Actually" started Soundwave taking his place in the conversation "the annoying one usually is Starscream but since he's not here someone must take his place"

"Where is he?" asked Red Alert getting curious

"He's on vacations"

"Vacations? Decepticons take vacations?" asked Red Alert suspiciously

"Duh! I took mines on February" said Thundercraker walking inside the room "damn how much I miss the annoying screamer"

"Why don't you call him?"

"Because he's on his grandfather's funeral, that's why he took his vacation right now"

"A funeral?" asked Red Alert "what a sad way to spend vacations, he must be sad"

***VOS, GRANDPA'S FUNERAL***

A poor little seeker was close to his grandfather's coffin crying his optics out

"Why grandpa! why! We didn't spend last summer together! Why!"

"Ok that's just retarded!" exclaimed Starscream standing near a snack table with a look of mild disdain over his face "you don't need to fake that to receive the heritage"

"Star, do you realize that you are on our grandpa's funeral? Show more respect" said one of Starscream cousins standing close to him "I feel affected by his sudden death too not only you!"

"I can clearly see that" exclaimed Starscream sarcastically staring at his cousin who was holding a cup of energon coffee and three muffins.

"This!" said the blue seeker raising his cup "it's called anxiety, deal with it!"

"so I take that anxiety is really popular amount our family huh?" asked the Decepticon staring at his surroundings, his family and his grandfather's friends where all chatting and eating like if it was some kind of tea party.

Starscream only gave a long growl "this is ridiculous!" screeched gaining everyone's attention "this is supposed to be our grandfather's funeral not a party!"

"shut up cousin!" screamed another seeker from the other side of the room clearly drunk on high grade "whatz zou know aboutz reeeezpetct!" yelled the drunk seeker loosing is balance and crashed against a snack table dropping it and making a silver platter fly towards the coffin that sadly... wasn't fully closed.

Everyone was staring mouth agape when they saw the big silver platter that looked heavy hit the corpse on his fuel tank.

It only took the rest of the mechs a few seconds to go back to eating and chatting like if nothing happened.

"Ok that's enough!" said Starscream walking towards the coffin and stood forward "hello! this is our grandfather's funeral show some respect for Primus sake, I bet that if he was to come back alive he would die right away from another spark attack!" yelled Starscream.

Everyone was staring mouth agape at him totally frozen, Starscream took this as the signal that they finally putted attention at him but the stare of pure horror everyone suddenly had, told him otherwise…

In a second, Starscream followed the rest of the guest on their frozen reaction when a pair of hands gently rested against his shoulders, the frightened seeker slowly turned to find the owner of those hands, a pair of hands that weren't supposed to be moving...

"aaaaah!" could be heard a long screech.

"Damn it Red Alert you won again!" said Thundercracker staring at the TV.

"What can I say, I'm good with video games!" exclaimed the red mech sitting on the couch.

"Erm... guys? It's been hours since screamer left, shouldn't we call him? See if he's ok with his grandfather's death? Maybe he needs someone to talk to" said Skywarp sitting next to them.

"Nah!" answered Thundercracker "He's with is family now, besides he must be resting for his loss"

*VOS, GRAMMPAS FUNERAL"

"What did you do Wingshade!" screeched Starscream to his drunk cousin

The entire guests were running down the halls of the building desperately trying to find an exit, trying to run away from the living corpse following them.

"I juz fell and the ziiiilver platter flouwz and hizt grampa!"

"That's not grandpa!"Exclaimed a femme seeker "that's grandpa's zombie!"

Behind them could be heard a long groan getting close, everyone froze and started to run faster.

"He's not a zombie... grandpas corpse is possessed!" yelled Silverdust to his brothers.

Everyone hid inside a room at the end of the hall "great! This is just great! Thank you Starscream, you always ruin everything!"

"What! Me! You were the idiots who were partying over grandpa's corpse!"

"shhh! Quiet I think he's leaving!" said a random guest.

Another long raspy groan could be heard walking to the opposite.

"You where the one who started to speak about respect! If you would just stand and wait for the heritage nothing of this would had happened and grandpa's would have stayed death!"

Starscream only growled "you idiot Silverdust! You only care about heritage! Besides! That's not a corpse because corpses stay death!"

"sssshhhh! I said quiet!" yelled again another random guest

The three cousins suddenly got quiet.

"leeetz go back zo we can PAR-TY!" yelled the drunk Wingshade

"This is still your fault!" whispered Silverdust

"No it isn't, its yours!" whispered back Starscream

"I zink I need... hiiiighgraaade!" yelled out loud Wingshade

"Is your cousin always drunk? I mean not even after seeing his supposed death grandfather?" asked another random guest probably one of the grandfather's friends

"Yes, since we were born" answered Starscream.

"I think he left" said Silverdust

"It is safe to go out? Maybe we should send someone, just to check..." said another friend.

A huge grin could be seen over Silverdust faceplates meanwhile without a warning he pushed Starscream mercilessly out of their hiding place.

"Course you Silverdust!" could be heard the Decepticon screech

"why ziz u do zhat?" asked the drunk Wingshade

"More heritage for me!"

Starscream only stared at his surrounding, it appeared that the living corpse banished or something, he turned to stare at the window behind him trying to find a way to open it when he heard really close a long groan slowly approach him, he wanted to scream and run but he felt his body paralyzed, the sound became louder and clearer; he felt again a pair of hands rest over his shoulders the poor frightened seeker finally gathered all his gust and slowly turned around.

"No!" screeched Starscream covering with both of his hands his optics "get away from me you demon!aaaaaaah!"

"staaaaarscream..." said the corpse still holding the seeker

"aaaaahhhh! Go away!"

"staaaaar..."

"nooo!"

"Starscream shut it already!" finally yelled the corpse

The way the zombie yelled at him reminded when his grandpa was angry and yelled at him and that snapped the seeker from his trance and slowly stared at the corpse.

"G-Grandpa?" asked shakily the seeker.

"Thank Primus! I thought I would never catch any of you! Would you please explain me why I wake up to find myself on my funeral? I knew your materialistic cousin Silverdust is desperate for his heritage but I never expected this from you"

From the distance could be heard a Silverdust yelling 'I heard that!'

"B-But grandpa... you're supposed to be death!"

"Death! I was just unconscious!"

"w-what!"

"I remember that yesterday I was having my dinner when a huge energon nut got stuck on my trachea so I fell unconscious and thanks to your stupid drunk cousin lack of attention he forgot the autopsy and just decided to make my funeral right away, that's the stupidest grandson of history!"

"I love you too papa Blaze!" yelled Wingshade at the distance.

"And I can't believe the stupidy of my grandson saved my life, if he wouldn't had thrown that silver platter it would had never hit my fuel tanks and I would had never spit that nut out."

Everyone who was listening to the story left the room and started to walk close to grand papa Blaze talking to him and saying how happy they were to know he was still alive.

"I can't believe he's not death!" said Silverdust indignantly.

"At least pretend you're happy I'm still alive" answered grandpa

"I-I mean... grandpa I would never be able to live without you!"

Starscream only gave a long sigh, his family never changed, this were the weirdest vacations ever.

"Everyone listen up!" said grandpa gaining everyone's attention

"Oh primus! You're going to read the will right!" asked Silverdust

"shut up silver" warned grandpa "I just wanted to say how happy I am even though you all were celebrating, I mean, mourning my death I'm still happy I'm seeing my own funereal along with my beloved grandsons" said grandma hugging his three little seekers.

"We love you too papa Blaze!" exclaimed the three seekers hugging their grandfather

"Why are you just standing there!" asked grandpa "you already were celebrating my death, let's not waste the snacks! Let's party!"

Everyone ran to the room were the funeral was taking place and started to eat and party like if nothing happened.

The party went smooth everyone talking and having great fun.

"Sorry to interrupt" said a really familiar voice from the opened door "we came here to say we are sorry for your loss and..." Skywarp suddenly froze when he saw Starscream death grandfather standing like if nothing happened.

"Oh primus! Zombies!" screamed Skywarp running away like a freak

"That word is really popular among your comrades my son" said grandpa to his little seeker

"If you only knew Papa" answered Starscream giving a long sigh

This surely was going to be another weird vacation, like every vacation he spends along with his family, Starscream wasn't going to admit that he was glad he was going to spend the rest of his vacation with his family, complete, as he so much loved, cherishing each second of it.

**THE END**

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_I wrote this story not just because I wanted to write crack, it's just that 2day it's my grandmother's death anniversary and I'm sad and shattered inside the only thing that made me happy was imagining that something like this happened on my grandmother's funeral, but sadly she left me, that's why I pictured Starscream like the loving grandson and Papa Silver dust like his beloved father…. Just like me and my grandmother_

_I miss her so badly…._

_Sorry for any grammar mistakes_

_XoXo PW'NS_


End file.
